I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26...– Michael Jordan (via justojusto)
txtsfrmlstnght: (916): rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
GET ON MY HORSE →
Be who you are and say how you feel, because the people who matter don’t mind...– Dr Seuss (via hrrrthrrr)
txtsfrmlstnght: (651): i’m smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Names that I Call People On the Regular
buttertownbeatdown: douche fart douche knob dick knob dick nipple dick shit dick nugget dick fart cunt fart cunt pimple cunt muscle cunt nipple fag nipple fag fart cum fart hooker tits hooker nipples twat burp I like to be creative with my vulgarity.
mliaverage: Today, I passed by a British man on the sidewalk. Loving his accent, I said ” ‘Ello!” as I walked by. He stopped, turned around, and yelled “PIP PIP! Cheerio! Wot wot! ‘Ello guvnuh! Good day to you, sir!” then continued on his merry way. I freaking love British people. MLIA
mliaverage: Today, I was sitting in Panera Bread, when they called out “Optimus Prime your bagel is ready.” Casually a boy who looks about 7 walks up and takes it. He is my hero.MLIA
I just had an argument with a girl I know. She was saying how it’s unfair...– QDB: Quote #908184
3. Human breasts may have developed to mimic buttocks. We know that the...– Don’t Feed the Animals: 10 Things You Didn’t Know About Sexual Biology (Female Edition)
mliaverage: The other day, I was In the TV room when I heard some weird noises coming from the kitchen. Thinking that my cat was hurt, I ran into the kitchen and found her in the space between the cabinet and the wall. She was doing backflips by leaping at the wall and pushing off of it with her paws. I gasped in amazement, and she immediately stopped, meowed and ran off. I feel like I know more...
Today I was eating a cupcake when the phone rang....
goodolddays: Ducky shincracker- A good dancer Active duty- Sexually promiscuous boy. Share crop- Sexually promiscuous girl. Greeby- Terrible Drooly- A cute guy An Able-Grable/Blackout girl/Dilly- A cute girl Some of Hitler’s Work/Void coupon- An unattractive girl Khaki wacky- Boy crazy Doll dizzy- Girl crazy Dead hoofer- A bad dancer Gammin’- Showing off Hen fruit- Eggs Hi sugar, are...
bestofwikipedia: Mamihlapinatapai is a word from the Yaghan language of Tierra del Fuego, listed in The Guinness Book of World Records as the “most succinct word”, and is considered one of the hardest words to translate. It describes “a look shared by two people with each wishing that the other will initiate something that both desire but which neither one wants to start.” (via Martin)
mliaverage: Yesterday, I sent my neighbor a banana in the mail. Today, I opened my mailbox to find a coconut. Touché. MLIA
mliaverage: Today, my sisters were talking about how everyone they know (including themselves) was getting pregnant. One said “There must be something in the air,” As my dad was passing by, he just stopped and said “Yeah. Your legs.” and went back to what he was doing. MLIA
mliaverage: Today, I finally decided to ask my mother about the grosslooking, torn to pieces superman action-figure she had on her shelf. She told me that when I was younger, she said the phrase, “You are what you eat” and I had eaten the superman action figure. After the surgury to get it out of my stomach, she kept it. I made it into a necklace. MLIA